19 Quite Frankly Shameful Reasons I Don’t Want To Turn 19 Tomorrow

  1. Normality called. According to him/her I have an unfathomable list of expectations that I feel I can’t reach (probably because I have short arms)
  2. I just really don’t want to be 19. Like really. Anyone want a swapsees
  3. Seriously did I just blink through my childhood? Gosh, I wish I could change those socially scaring memories that make me feel totally behind.
  4. Is it weird to say I don’t feel I deserve to get older? Like there is some weird test where you have had to done all these things to be 19. Yep just me. Got it!
  5. That I’m trying to make this list somewhat humorous in attempt to protect myself from the thought and the pointless running feeling in my veins. I will try to be serious now…
  6. I feel guilty
  7. I have watched my older sister at this age seen her thrive, have good friends, no social anxiety. Want to fly the nest and all the experiences someone my age should have. I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel these years are always hers. I don’t feel real that it’s my turn in them.
  8. I haven’t done most things that even a 13 year-old does without thinking i.e. going shopping with friends, cinema etc. It’s embarrassing!
  9. For goodness sake I’m just so ashamed and humiliated that I still hang on to my parents like a child. Can I feel anymore of an outsider/loser to my generation?
  10. I want to stop it. Shield myself from tomorrow. But I can’t and will never be able to.
  11. I feel like I’m late growing up. Like I had a serious delay because of my years of social anxiety in high school. It’s like I’m learning social skills from the ground up. That makes me feel awkward and laced with a guilt that makes me socially unacceptable.
  12. Frankly I’m crapping myself scared.
  13. This makes me wish even the smallest bit that I lived in Neverland (the Disney version not Once Upon A Timers)
  14. I’ve meant to have grown up. Is it possible to grow up in a matter of hours? Wait aren’t I meant to have ‘grown up’.
  15. I feel ashamed of myself because I look 15 perhaps younger. Let alone 18 – now 19. I can’t deal with the surprised faces!
  16. A year from now I’m 20 :O Just think about that aaaaahhh!!!
  17. I hate the feeling you get when your birthday is about to end. It’s like birthday withdrawal. Yes I’m conflicted.
  18. Where has the magic gone?
  19. I have just, nope I haven’t even got used to 18 yet.

I thought I would share this list with you guys. Does anyone else feel the same? Please LIKE or SHARE or COMMENT especially if you want more posts like this! Love you all so much – I mean really. I hope whatever storm passes that I can at least equip you with something whether its comfort, words, sharing relatable things that will help you get through it. Love & hugs 🙂

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