New Year: Put 2014 Behind You

 

So here’s the honest truth. Somehow in the spider web of the unimaginable Internet universe you have landed on this blog. Looking for something. Searching for something.

If you want some pre-wrapped article with all the leftover Christmas paper and all, I’m sure there’s plenty of them that will tell you weird facts on New Year or an article to make you green with envy with some celeb glitzy party. But, today I’m thirsty for the truth, earnestness. Aren’t we all?

Everyone expects a philosophical answer on New Year’s New Year’s day. For whatever reason New Year’s has us feeling stripped bare. Taken away from the blurry distractions of droll routine. We feel forced to assess our success. It’s this weird emotion.

It’s like when you learnt about magnets at school and kept playing with the same poles that couldn’t attract. Between the repelling forces was an invisible orb that defended the truth. And in a way that’s what the feelings like.

You heard the saying two negatives don’t make a positive. You still with me? In my own mind of whirring cogs, I have decided just now on the notion. During this time when we strip search our minds from the last day of December to January. Walk through the electronic doorway thingy. Pulled aside with a beckoning finger and a tray of all last year’s crap.

Back to the magnet simile. The poles repel because they are the same – opposite attract. Because we have a double negative aka the labeling of a failure. Searched ourselves for the bad. We decide to take the tray of crappiness with us. Somehow fearing what it would be like if we just left it.

Soon we have a list of everything we haven’t done. Soon the thoughts feel written on our skin and wriggle under. Regret flashes through our veins. Or bad events come back to your brain like a rerun of a bad sit-com. But, instead you can feel those emotions again.

May be this is just me? Who when the numbers begin to role from 10 all the way down to one, has the urge to pull it back. That when the TV rolls the fireworks on the London eye. When I stay awake till 12, always under the illusion that, that one minute into the New Year something big is going to happen. I don’t know the presenters jump out the TV. For me to feel whole and glad. There is that always want for something.

I don’t know. May be it’s all just hype. More money in others’ pockets. Think about it. Supposed New Years traditions (I never have done this by the way) are to get drunk and kiss someone at 12 o’clock. Whether you did one or the other both. Or perhaps if you are like me neither. Both show a need to feel complete and whole in some way. An aversion to these feelings.

In some ways it feels we are back to square one after having climbed and scrambled through the year. So, what is the truth. New Year merely hides the truth of everyday. Most of us are overwhelmed with this sense of change as the minute passes. But, we forget about the days and weeks. Perhaps we should not just be really thinking in years, but living for the days!

Wherever you are now reading this. Don’t miss out on the good of last year. And don’t let the bad cast a shadow. You may have made mistakes. I sure did. But, good. Now we know at least this year our decision making might improve!

You can do anything. After all as scared as I was to write this blog. Went and procrastinated, I did it. So, here is to not letting the past stop you!

#Tip 4 To find a path we first must climb a tree and see the view

Hello Anxiety,

“Hmm decisions…decisions?”

Life is often made out to be a list of decisions, stacked high and ready to be ticked off. Even the word itself “decision” has become as monstrously daunting and heavy as trying to go to sleep after watching a horror movie (which you told yourself not to watch) or hopelessly attempting to carry all your groceries (which you know you can’t) by running madly to the door before the weight keels you over.

As a teen, ‘decision making’ has been thrown, stuffed and flung down my throat **cough university. Not only that, but now there feels as if there is more pressure to make snap (couldn’t resist to click my fingers) decisions. It’s hard. And lets face it social expectations for not just us bubbled up teens, but for kiddies and the grownie ups too, seems to be coming to a boil.

Here is where you get your violin out… no I’m joking. What makes my decision making so hard for me personally is my anxiety. Which I hold my hands up and don’t doubt has affected everyone at some point. Whether that be trying to avoid that certain someone that has awkwardly blocked your path. Knowing whether to go for it and just ‘smile and wave’ or to quickly shuffle your butt out of there before they have a chance to see your face.

For me throughout my life so far there has been a clear line between my ‘aspirational decisions’ and my ‘anxious decisions’. How I see it is that you have the things that you would ‘in theory’ like to do if it were not for that tedious anxiety. And then pretty much all those anxious decisions that build a wall of avoidance we hide behind.

For sure anxiety has clouded my path. Now I can’t see the sign that should point me in the right direction. Perhaps others have passed me on this path, but I have been too scared to ask for their help so I am left here.

Feeling anxious of being judged has left my brain “confuzzled” (yes I like to blend words). It is mainly the bad narrator of my mind that makes me procrastinate, make excuses, literally doing anything, but come face to face with that decision.

It is like I’m or we are lost in an endless wood. We are tired, confused. We are all scared. What should we do?  The answer is this… to find a path we first must climb a tree and see the view.

#Tip4

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